Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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