Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
