Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Randomize
