My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
