So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
