Three words: puerto rican gang bang
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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