Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
