This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
