I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
