That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
