I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
We left an ass print on the piano.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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