at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
