When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
there's paper in my vomit.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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