Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
