Well apparently he's into motor boating.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
