all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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