just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
