u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
