4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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