3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
