Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
