I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
