i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
