what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
