Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
