i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
