Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
