Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
