If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
