I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
