what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
