That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
