i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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