I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I understand Curling. That high.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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