we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
