Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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