If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
