Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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