why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
