the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
