If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
