I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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