I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
