I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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