Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
