90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
