Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
