I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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