I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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