i think my mom watched the whole time
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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