Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
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