guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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