He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
