I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
